Saturday, June 10, 2006

My Neurosis or Painful Pants?

Ok. I am about to relate to you all a VERY traumatic experience from my past, and its aftermath...this is NOT easy!

It was Independence Day weekend, Lake Yahoa, Honduras. I was spending a long weekend with my Peace Corps co-workers. Let me preface this by saying the area around the lake is very jungle-like, lots of scary critters. We stayed in some sub-standard motel-like shacks that were just feet from the water. I took an overnight bag and made the mistake of leaving it unzipped on the floor throughout the night. Much to my chagrin, one of the above-mentioned scary guys crawled into my bag.

The weekend was a blast, we partied in classic Peace Corps style. I got home Tuesday night. Exhausted by the 9 hour bus ride, I didn't bother to unpack my bag, just went straight to bed. I woke up the following morning and decided to wear my blue dockers-style pants that I had taken to the lake with me, but didn't wear. Grabbed 'em out of my bag, slipped them on, and trotted over to my office. Unbeknownst to me, the bad guy, a FREAKING SCORPION, had set up camp inside one of the legs of the pants that I was wearing!!!

After about 15 minutes of pleasantries with my co-workers, I felt something biting my right knee. (Remember, I was living on the edge of a rainforest, mosquitoes are Honduras' national bird.) I thought that a mosquito was biting my leg, so I swatted my leg a few times and that was that...NOT! About 2 seconds later, the stinging feeling in my knee got really intense...I started to freak out a bit. Before I knew it, I was dancing around the office trying to figure out what was eating my knee! All of the sudden, a black multi-legged thing dropped out of my pant leg, it's a good thing it did because I was about 5 seconds from ripping my pants off in front of about 10 As soon as it hit the floor, one of the guys in the office yelled out "alacran, alacran!" (scorpion, scorpion!). One of the secretaries quickly ran over to my side and smashed it with her shoe while I was whimpering like a big baby.

The evil beast (I'm guessing it was about 3 inches long) had stung me 4 times! I guess they don't like to be swatted? Anyhow, the pain was incredible and word of the incident spread fast throughout the town...I was the dancing gringo with scorpions in his pants! To add to the madness, there must have been a second monster in my bag because the next day I found one in my bathroom...what a nightmare.

The point of this story is that, since the incident, everytime I wear that same pair of blue pants, my right leg itches! Scary, eh? It just happened again yesterday, that's why I am relating this to you now. I'm hoping that this post will somehow stop this madness, perhaps appease the scorpion spirits...I need help people!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey David,
I would suggest that you buy a new pair of pants. You can frame those as a fun conversation piece!